Dear users of Rate My Kitten,

You appear to be having difficulty telling the difference between a cat and a kitten. The site is explicitly called “Rate My Kitten”, not “Rate My Cat”, yet you still persist in inexplicably posting thousands of photos of cats. Really ugly cats, too, usually. As such, as of this point, I will be rating all things that are clearly not kittens on your site with the lowest available score.

Just to make this easy for you:

This is not a kitten, and the addition of tinsel to an already pissed off looking cat does not make it look any more like a kitten.

This is not a kitten. In fact, it’s probably too fat to be really still called a cat, too. More of a walrus with fur and a confused expression.

This is not a kitten. And the inclusion of a comedy plant-pot pose doesn’t make it a kitten either.

This is not a kitten. It is a demon creature from the very deepest part of the underworld.

This is a kitten but it’s in such a deeply disturbing place that it’s going to take several gallons of mindbleach before I’m able to think again.

Okay? For further reference, this is a kitten. So is this, this and this. Here are several kittens, one of whom is the saddest kitten in the world.

And lastly, this is not a kitten. It is clearly David Bowie after his latest image revamp.

I hope this clears up any confusion you may be experiencing;

Yours, etc.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 6th, 2005 at 2:48 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.