People who I hate

Jobsworths, and their tiny-minded sense of totally misplaced self-importance that can only come from a dead-end and unimportant job that nevertheless places the pea-brained slab of meat in a position of power over a tiny portion of the general public. Tonight, in particular, the security guy outside Sainsbury’s Local on my way home. He’s stood inside the store, watching me walk up the entrance ramp with my bike and something inside his brain goes “ping”. Time for Mr Jobsworth Idiot to spring into action and enforce his tiny sliver of authority on another unsuspecting member of the public!

“You can’t chain your bike up there, mate.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Your bike. You can’t chain it up just there.”
“Uh. Why not?”

– and here I’ve made a mistake, because I’ve given him an excuse to use the line; he’s practised this and it’s got big words and everything. This makes the Jobsworth feel big and clever.

“Because it is an in-peddy-mint to public access to the store.”
“So… how come there’s another bike chained up here?”
“That’s a staff bike. They’re allowed.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Why are staff bikes not an impediment to public access to the store?”
“Because they’re allowed.”
“You do realise that’s totally retarded, right? So where can I leave my bike?”
“Down there.” – he points at the bottom of the ramp
“The bottom of the ramp.”
“Yes. Down there.”
“The same ramp that if I leave my bike at the top of is blocking access?”
“Wow. That’s really, really stupid.”

And then the goddamned shop didn’t even have the batteries I was after anyway, which made me even more cross.

My bad vibes must’ve been giving off something rotten, too, because no less than three streetlights turned off as I cycled underneath them on the way home.

One Response to “People who I hate”

  1. BW says:

    Should’ve just chained it up anyway. What was he going ot do in the time it took you to find out they didn’t have batteries?