You’re all sick

My webstats software is great. It shows me what people who arrive at Not A Blog from a search engine were searching for. It’s a wonderful little window into the collective internet mind. Unsurprisingly, then, what they’re largely searching for is free music, help with their homework and porn. Mainly porn, actually, and often really specific porn. The world has some real issues. The thing I still don’t understand is why anyone who was looking for “russian sex ladies nipple dvd free video free photo sites” might actually end up here.

Anyway, notable statistics this time round include:

  • 669 people arrived here after searching for “Hot Tub Ranking“. Yep, it’s true: a two line post written whilst half-cut watching a terrible Channel 5 gameshow generated more traffic for me than anything else this month.
  • In fact, 6 of my top 10 search results this month were related to “Hot tub ranking“.
  • The other four were “Chris Whitworth“, “parm reading” (the fact that this has remained in the top ten since this blog started just confirms my belief that everyone in the universe is stupid), “moose pics” (another perrenial favourite) and “Angelo Baddelamenti” (proving that I also am one of the stupid people in the world who can’t spell).
  • internal constraints of panda wok“. I just have no idea.
  • santas of geothermal resources developed and future out look in indonesia“. Uh… what?
  • christian evaluation warcraft computer game“. Now this I can help out with. I’m a Christian, and I think it’s absolutely awesome. There; I hope that’s useful.
  • statistics for chilled garlic bread ireland“. GET OUT MORE.
  • stagecoach driver blog“. I can only assume that if this did exist, it would consist entirely of posts like this:

    Bad day. Some people got on my bus and expectde me to take them somewhere. Worse, one of them tried to pay with a £5 note, so naturally I had to kill him. Ran over four cyclists, sat feeling smug and warm with the doors closed in the bus station whilst the public sat shivering outside. God, I hate the world.

    I don’t like bus drivers very much.

  • crazy taxi geforce fix” is still getting some hits, and it still doesn’t work on GeForce 4MXs. Sorry guys.
  • the aa kev bev download“. You people sicken me. Why would anyone want this?

3 Responses to “You’re all sick”

  1. SharkyUK says:

    It’s a very scary world out there… very scary indeed. I would get out more but these people scare me.

  2. Lyle says:

    [quote]proving that I also am one of the stupid people in the world who can’t spell[/quote]

    As evidenced by ‘perrenial’ which I always thought was ‘perenial’ – although very different to ‘perineal’…

  3. quin says:

    Hot tubs are really, really popular in Canada at least, and there’s no association with swinging there at all.

    Perhaps they’re the same people who are looking for ‘moose pics’.