Short on ideas and inspired by Sven‘s search-results-that-reached-me post, I figured I’d make with the lazy blogging and do the same thing, only to discover on going through my stats page that it seems the world and his oyster has been visiting me this month.

On April 1st, I made this little spoof BBC News story about the Pope actually having died years ago. I then decided that, actually, that might be slightly poor taste given that it was likely he really was about to die, and didn’t link to it from here. I posted it on one or two forums where I was reasonably sure people would find it funny and not write me stern emails, and then forgot about it.

A little over two weeks later, I find myself as the third result on Google for BBC News Pope and with a little over 1,700 hits to that page alone. My referrer logs show that I’ve been hit by nearly every* forum on the entire internet. This may also explain why my internet connection has been going a little slowly this month.

Anyway. Other interesting searches that led people to my blog this month include:

  • hedgehog flavour crisps – Does anyone else remember these? They were ace, in a slightly disturbing sort of way.
  • white bengal pics in snowy siberia – I have no clue why this led someone here. I don’t own a white bengal, and I’ve never been to Siberia, except to fly over it.
  • fifa street ps2 – Could this be the world’s most chav game? Please stop buying it. You make me want to cry.
  • programmers sweets – I don’t know what these are, but I want some now.
  • installing foglights on a frod escape – No idea. Sorry.
  • can marmite get rid of glandular fever – I sincerely doubt it, but if anyone has any evidence to the contrary, I’d love to hear it.
  • pics of sheep shagging – That someone was searching for this I can deal with. That someone saw “home.parm.net – not a blog” in the results list for that and thought “Hey, that sounds like the kind of place you’d get pictures of sheep shagging” concerns me greatly.
  • uml based design for seat belt alarm controller – Or, you could do your A-level Computing homework yourself.
  • fan parm – Aww, how sweet.
  • nurofen bleeding stomach quantity – Here’s a hint. In future, if you require this sort of information, CALL AN AMBULANCE.
  • an applet will not compile if it contains a main method true or false – See above about A-Level computing homework.

All the usual suspects are still there, too – people still haven’t figured out that you can’t run Crazy Taxi 3 on a machine with a GeForce 4MX, they still want unlock codes for various bits of software I’ve mentioned and they’re still looking for naked pictures of me, my girlfriend and nearly every person I’ve ever mentioned here.

Finally, holding steady at the top for the million-and-first consecutive month is “parm reading”, which just goes to confirm my belief that there should be some kind of intelligence test before you’re allowed to use the internet.

*might be a lie

3 Responses to “Gosh”

  1. Paul says:

    I seem to get some very strange search queries for my site – such as ‘proogs chocolate brownies’ (for which I am first in Google for no apparent reason!), ‘hierachy of staff at marks and spencers’, ‘sainsburys salford opening hours’ and ‘picture of man in chair with beer’.

    Most disturbing…

  2. Clive says:

    I eat loads and loads of Marmite, and have never had glandular fever. So there you go.

  3. Stu Pid says:

    Were are the naked pictures. This site is teasing me.


    Stu Pid