When I get text messages from blokes – straight blokes, no less – that end with, say, “Arnold xxx” (except I don’t know anyone called Arnold, but you get my meaning). Maybe it’s just an instinctive thing for them – something their fingers do automatically – much like mine are hardwired to type Ctrl-A C ! m every thirty seconds or so into the terminal holding my screen session on my machine at home (for the non-geeks, that just checks to see if I’ve got any new email) – but it still freaks me out slightly.

Of course, when a girl does it, I get this little frisson of excitement, even though I know that in real life any kissing-style activities with any females other than my girlfriend would result in permanent disabling injuries to myself.

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