I’ve decided to become a celebrity look-a-like. I haven’t decided who I look like yet, but apparently that isn’t a barrier to becoming a celebrity lookalike. It seems that having a single physical characteristic in common with them (like, say, dark hair, or a wonky nose) is sufficient to class yourself as a look-a-like. All you need to do then is go and buy some clothes a bit like the ones your chosen celeb wears, and you’re all set!

For example – if you’re ginger, have small tits and a wonky nose, you obviously look just like Jennifer Aniston. Or, if you’re black, have short hair and big tits, you can be Halle Berry! Or maybe you just happen to have a pair of gold hotpants lying around? Bingo! You’re Kylie! A leather jacket and dark glasses are all you need to be Arnie.

Even looking absolutely nothing like the person you’re supposed to be impersonating is no barrier, it seems, as Dr Evil is only too happy to prove. Mind you, although this patently isn’t Jamie Oliver, I still have the overwhelming urge to punch him in the face, so perhaps he’s not that bad an impersonator, after all.

Best of the bunch, though, has to be the frankly terrifying Pamela Anderson, who is apparently attempting to prove that no matter how badly wrong your plastic surgery has gone, you can still make a living out of putting on a red swimsuit and terrifying small children.

So. Let’s see. I’ve got dark hair, a bit of a belly and a stupid beard – who can I be? Well, clearly: I’m Brian Blessed. I’ll start taking bookings now.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 26th, 2004 at 1:12 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.