This came round our office the other day and made me laugh like a mad thing. Maybe not actually the Best Joke Ever, but it’s damned close.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs
some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and
eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard
balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, somehow
swallows it whole.

The bartender says to the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just
did?” The guy says “No, what?” He just ate the cue ball off my pool table
-whole!” “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “he eats
everything in sight, the little prat. Sorry. I’ll pay for the cue ball
and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While
the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on
the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his arse, pulls it
out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now? He
asks. “No, what?” replies the guy. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry
and a peanut up his arse, pulled it out, and ate it!” said the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy. “He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he
measures everything first…”

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 30th, 2003 at 10:00 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.