Cat Deeley: Face of Stilton

This is the hot contender for most awesomely unlikely news story of the year.

“Stilton sales are down. This is a problem, people. We’re seen as old, stuffy, too English – people are eating these foreign cheeses. We’re having our asses handed to us by feta, by camembert – even by halloumi, people. We need to do something. And I know just what we can do: Stilton perfume. Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I? Tell me I’m right. But! We need more! Go one step beyond! We need to get sexy, too: We need Cat Deeley. Goddamn I am so good. People, get to it!”

2 Responses to “Cat Deeley: Face of Stilton”

  1. Adrian says:

    Queue many jokes about nibbling on Deely’s crumbly bits. (actually I couldn’t make any Stilton jokes that actually sounded decently sleazy, and I tried, I really did)

    Still, We’re having our asses handed to us by feta has got to be a line worth printing on a t-shirt.

  2. CheesyRobMan says:

    It might taste nice, but it’s not exactly the most seductive of smells, is it? Smelling as it does largely of mouldy milk. Very, very mouldy milk.

    I think even Cat Deeley might not be able to sex up a perfume based on blue cheese.