• The M25 is quite long, and being diverted around 3/4 of it because someone has crashed between the two or three junctions you need to travel between can take some time.
• Hotels that get shirty with you because you don’t have a PIN for your credit card – even though you have a perfectly servicable debit card – deserve to be burned to the ground. Especially if they do this to you after you’ve driven 3/4 of the way round the M25.
• Large groups of rowdy Scottish chavs should be banned from aeroplanes.
• Monarch – just don’t.
• It is possible to be skiing so fast that your contact lens gets blown out of your eye.
• Having only one contact lens in is deeply disorienting and can put a real crimp in your skiing.
• The Canadian accent is awesome, but they don’t say “aboot” – it’s clearly “aboat”.
• “Take your tongue out of my mouth, I’m only kissing you goodbye” is the greatest song title ever. “Tequila makes her clothes fall off” is a close second. But the greatest song ever is the simply-but-eloquently titled Tits.
• There’s a real knack to rolling up the rim on the Tim Horton’s “Roll up the Rim” coffee cups. It is a knack that I clearly do not possess.
• Calgary Airport is dull.
• I’m really not kidding about the Monarch thing.

I’m not dead. But no-one said anything about having to *pay* for the in-room interwebnet access. Bah.

Look at me and my bad self

This is the greatest news story ever.

Right, I’m off to Banff for a week. If my hotel haven’t lied I should have access to Teh Internets from my room so I’ll try and send a postcard.

Hans Blix says Iran is years away from making a nuclear weapon and we all know how right he was about Iraq.

So, the dude at the coffee machine in Suburb made too many capuccinos for the people ahead of me, and I got a free drink whilst waiting for my burrito. Result!

In other news, my inspiration levels have hit an all time low.

This vs this.

Today’s pranks.

I like Minerva‘s sellout best.

The Open Office joke might work better if its “flawless” support of MS Office files didn’t mean that it mangled every single Word file with formatting more complex than font changes I’ve ever thrown at it. I don’t like Open Office very much.

Now I know how Wonko The Sane felt after reading those instructions on the toothpick packet.

Described as having “urban and modern” packaging, Drench will be available in 500ml and 750ml bottles and feature a valved cap which has been designed to appeal to ‘on-the-go’ 16-34 year olds.

Drench is 21st century water! The first ‘new, exciting and highly innovative brand’ in water, it is the first solely youth targeted water brand in market.

As a brand to be seen with in hand – stylish and modern – it is a signal of being ‘in the know’ and of ‘ belonging in an urban environment. It will be part of the daily kit of students.

It excels in research, being differentiated and unique. The pack delivers to consumer needs and is appealing to everyone – men as much as women!

IT’S WATER. IN A PLASTIC BOTTLE. Shiva H. Krishnu on a bike, people. Anyone who buys this stuff – unless it’s dramatically cheaper than all other options or you’re miles away from a tap and you’re dying of thirst and it’s the only option – earns my instant and eternal scorn.

On an unrelated note, I just saw a bicycle with underlighting. Awesome.